Johnny, my father-in-law, is very attached to his only daughter, often telling me, “Jill will always be my little girl.” Before I met Jill he spent a considerable amount of time helping her with whatever she needed, including cutting the grass and making repairs at her home, keeping up with the maintenance of her car, and picking up Linley, his granddaughter, after school.
Eager to make a good impression on my girlfriend and her parents, I began to take over the lawn care and home repair tasks shortly after our first date. Johnny was supposed to be enjoying his retirement years, I reasoned, not laboring outside in the heat pushing a lawnmower or climbing a ladder.
In spite of my reassurances that I didn’t need his help, Johnny made surprise appearances on the days I planned to work at Jill’s house. He insisted on helping me prune the shrubs and advised me on how to secure a loose board in the dining room floor. He continued to show up and work alongside me throughout my courtship with Jill, sometimes even arriving before I did to begin the work himself, right up to the day we made the buyer’s final requested improvements to the house. Jill had sold it so that we could then move into the new home we had purchased together.
Once Jill and I married, I became the Master of my domicile. Now I did all the yard work, home repair, got the oil changed in my wife’s car, and began shuttling Linley back and forth from school.
Johnny kept asking me if I needed his help, and I kept politely answering, “No.” I didn’t want to burden him with what I thought I should be doing for my newly blended family.
One day I reluctantly asked Johnny to come by and water our recently landscaped front yard while we were out of town on vacation. He, of course, eagerly agreed. After I hung up the phone, Jill pulled me aside. “Thank you,” she said.
I looked at her, clueless about why she was thanking me.
“He wants to help; he likes to do things for me.”
That’s when I finally understood. Johnny wasn’t inserting himself into my world; he was maintaining his place in Jill’s. He only wanted to continue to be a daddy to his little girl.
Today Johnny and I work together to keep our yard and house in top shape, and to take good care of Jill and Linley. And ever the dad, he now does things for Meagan and me, too. We are all just as delighted to receive his help as he is to give it.