My friend, do not let the fact that you have been treated wrongly cause you to commit another wrong. Be gentle with those who have wronged you. If you are hard and unforgiving toward others, you are not well-positioned to seek forgiveness for yourself. Having contempt for anyone ultimately only harms you. Remember, you cannot be forgiven if you are one who cannot forgive. Not one of us deserves God’s compassion, yet we are forgiven. Christ on the cross prayed for his enemies; remember his example. Just as God forgives you, you should forgive your offenders. When you do, you give glory to God by multiplying his forgiveness. Please do not make it your business to judge and avenge, for as you judge, you too shall be judged. Instead, free yourself from a wrathful mind and strive to live peacefully with everyone. Admit that you, too, have been an offender and ask for forgiveness. Confess your faults as a demonstration of sincere sorrow and accept apologies offered to you with a merciful spirit so that God may be glorified.
Be assured that you are not forgiven only once, but each and every time you repent your sins. So be honest about your imperfections, and you will genuinely find reason to repent each and every day. And remember, mercy begets mercy, and the lack of mercy earns you nothing. Just as you are imperfect, so are those around you. Forgive your neighbors as Jesus forgives you, as often as he forgives you. You are called to be a peacemaker. If you are filled with the love of peace, it must reign in your heart and then rule in your deeds. There must be no disagreement, separation, or rebellion between you and your neighbors, for without peace, no one will see that the love of the Lord dwells in you. Live in peace so that others may see God at work through you. Be gentle to those who have wronged you, and give your family, friends, and neighbors many opportunities to redeem themselves, just as God has forgiven you so many times.
I should point out that forgiving and forgetting are two different things; one is not dependent on the other. Do not confuse forgiving with forgetting. The wrong done to you may be so traumatic that it leaves a scar, an ugly reminder of what has happened. Believe me, the longer you delay forgiving your transgressor, the more painful the scar. But the sooner you genuinely forgive, the quicker the healing and the sooner the trauma becomes a historical fact rather than a present pain. If this seems impossible to you, I urge you to ask a fellow believer to join you in the work that is required to help you wholly and gracefully forgive. As for you, you may think yourself unworthy of forgiveness. Do not be burdened with shame; you must also be forgiving of yourself. The weight of guilt about your regrettable past is an unholy burden because the ghosts of your transgressions can haunt you into abandoning your renewal. You must let these matters go, or you will not fully enjoy the freedom you have in forgiveness. Your old self, the one from your past and before the time of your renewal, was corrupted by your imperfect judgment and unjust desires. Your new self, guided by righteous obedience, should turn away from all your former sins. Rather than feel shame, rejoice in your redemption! Look ahead, seek the will of God, and have cheer in gratitude for your salvation. Think of yourself with sober judgment but in a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, one unafraid to be who you have become, one forgiven and saved by grace. Amen!
